Lord and General Panda Killed in Building Fire – Memorial and Tribute Gig
Disarseter Records Sdn Bhd.
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
27 September 2007
Lord and General Panda Killed in Building Fire – Memorial and Tribute Gig.
Global musical phenoms, philanthropists, spiritual gurus and technical geniuses, Panda Head Curry? were killed in a building fire in Balakong on 9 September 2007. Lord and General Panda? were evacuating the tenants, mainly orphans, feeble and wretched people when the building collapsed. Their bodies were not found.
Cowardly people snapping photos and watching while Lord and General Panda? rush into the building to save orphans and wretched people
Known for their ultra right wing, pro mufti Perak, fundamentalist, anti-vegan, homophobic and misogynic sing-alongs, Panda Head Curry? were embarking on their planet wide tour following the release of their latest album, “One Thousand Homo Humpbacks”. An announcement was made at a Central Market gig two weeks ago by CIJ Head Cheese Sonia R. According to Ms. R, the circumstances of the fire were dubious, she implied that “Panda Head Curry? probably started it themselves”. A baseless accusation by one of the Panda Head Curry?’s biggest detractors.
Claims that Panda Head Curry? owned the building and were hoping to cash in their insurance policy were complete slander. Panda Head Curry? did own the building, a testament to their generosity and philanthropy. It was the worlds first “Orphanarium”, a building that housed orphans from all over the world. Its walls were made of glass, so people could see the orphans at play and rest. People would stop by during lunch breaks where the orphans would put on skits and perform choral arrangements of Panda Head Curry? songs. The Orphanarium had an unparalleled adoption rate. Accusations that Panda Head Curry? were using the orphans for medical research were completely untrue and probably a CIJ smear campaign.
Panda Head Curry? hired wretched, homeless, the dregs of society, to staff the Orphanarium. “Look, everyone likes kids? Just because someone is labeled “schizophrenic” doesn’t mean he don’t like kids”, said General Panda? in a 2001 interview.
We are making this press release several weeks after the incident. This has been done to manage the grief of the planet. We feared Panda Head Curry? fans and disciples may riot and commit mass suicide, so we’ve been breaking the news slowly and in stages.
A memorial and tribute for Panda Head Curry? shall be held in Paul’s Place on 3 November 2007. This event is Invitation Only. Entrance is free. If you are reading this, consider yourself INVITED. If you would to attend, you MUST RSVP with an email to email@example.com.
Please send in your (real) FULL NAME so we can get you on the guest list.
This event also coincides with owner, Paul Millot’s Birthday and Ben’s Bitches Album Release Party –
A Disarseterous Conspiracy!
Lots of party games and party pack give aways!
Date: 3rd Nov 2007 (Sat)
Time: 8:00 pm
Venue: Paul's Place (map below)
360 Degree Head Rotation
A surprise totally kick ass band has yet to confirm.
Come, celebrate the life of Panda Head Curry? Paul’s nth birthday, and Ben’s Bitches Album Release (copies of the Mamak Conspiracy and other fine Disarseter Records products will be available for purchase).
Please send questions or condolences to firstname.lastname@example.org .