Invitation Letter From Troubadours
Well, here's their email:
Header details removed
Subject: Invitation to perform at KLPac gig 20 August 2006.
Dear Panda Head Curry?,
How are you? Hope is all well.
We would sincerely like to apologize for not including your 35 minute version of "Gator Farm (Live at Wet World, Shah Alam)" in our "Voices from Next Door" double CD gonzo compilation. Some of us really wanted to include it but Azmyl Yunor vehemently protested, calling you "Talentless C*nts". He's also responsible for getting you off the speaker/performer at KL Sing Song 2006. We didn't realize that he'd had a personal vendetta against you. This unfortunately, is part of his psychosis. He's been off his medication for the past 3 months because he says it blocks his creativity (which in our mind is seriously overrated). He believes Panda Head Curry? shall "suck his soul out of his nostrils" if you get too close to him.
Rest assured, we've brought him back to the medical facility and the doctors say he'll be right as rain after the lobotomy and shock treatment. We've implemented a system of checks and balances to ensure this shall never happen again. We promise on our, and our loved one's very lives.
We hope that you will be able to forgive us. For Panda Head Curry? is all Loving and Forgiving.
We have no doubt that Panda Head Curry?'s genius is the solution to all this planet's malaises. Panda Head Curry? embodies the evolution of man over the eons from, a puddle of frothing amino acids to the star child precursors you are today.
We would be completely honored if Panda Head Curry? could grace us with your munificent presence and perform at our Troubadours-Open Doors performance at KLPac on Sunday 20 August 2006. We realize you have an extremely schedule, meeting with world leaders, captains of industry and porn starlets on a day to day basis.
You can't see us, but we are prostrating in a patch of dirt outside KLPac as we write this, begging you to consider. We realize that KLPac doesn't meet the standards of performance facilities for Panda Head Curry?. We have also come up with the budget of RM 250,000.00 to pay your artist fees.
In addition to that, we've engaged Jenna Jameson and a TBI porn starlet (who takes it on the face) to be your Personal Assistants for one month, after which you can discard those porn 'hos once you've had your way with them. We had to sell the kidneys and corneas of all our new interns to come up with this budget.
We implore you (again, you can't see us but if you could, we'd be at your feet, kissing and patting them), please perform at our show. We hope you can find it in your munificent (we just learnt this word today, hence, we've been using it quite a lot) hearts to come.
We look forward to hearing from you.
Your humble servants,